Body Image

It's a woman nature I should say, to constantly check, may it be a conscious or a subconscious effort,  if our body still fits to the body image we'd like to have. Regardless if it's on the anorexic side, curvy side or rarely obese side (i personally think it's very rare for a woman to want an obese body, unless one is part of a tribal tradition where obesity equates sexiness and full womanhood). A body image is one's perception of a perfect body figure and one's desire to have her body to be. Some dangerously desires to have a model-ish body where every bone is popping out and no trace of cellulite one could see. Blame it to the prints and tv programs that perpetually equate sexiness and beauty to anorexic body and size zero as the perfect size.

I was once hooked to this body image. It all started when after passing the board exam, with the feeling of being deprived of sleep and hearty meal for years of junior and senior internship, I ate like there is no tomorrow of all the possible food my hands could grab, and slept for long hours like I've never slept for thousands of years! In other words, baboy mode! (waaaahh!) These lasted for long months of so much enjoyment that my eyes slipped to notice that none of my wardrobe fits anymore and comments from my friends kept coming that I've gained weight (ouch! I hate it when people tell the blatant truth that I'm fat, though it's true). It took me a year to internalize the truth that I indeed gained weight. But it's not just about adding pounds to my body, it's about how unhealthy my eating habits had become and how long I did forego exercising. Bad.

One day I suddenly felt the rush to lose weight. Unfortunately, disarmed with proper knowledge then (don't blame me, proper diet is not structurally taught in med school) I chose the wrong way of shedding pounds. Diet pills that claimed to have decreased appetite, increased metabolism, decreased fat absorption and all those nasty tea and concoction that claimed to lose weight, you name it I've tried it. I went to not eating for few days, and later on found myself binge eating with junkfoods and sweets. Some of these pills that I took caused severe acne breakouts that caused me bouts of depression. My body image at that time was so bad, I felt I was the fattest and the ugliest.

Then I discover juice fasting and detoxification. I read the book, understood the principle and did the fast properly. I slowly shed few pounds at a given time, and I was again inspired to do it more, and this time with exercise. I was enlightened that it's not just enough to have  model-ish body, it is very, very important to have a healthy body. A sexy body is not bones popping out of your body, a sexy body is a body with strength and nourishment.