Friday, November 5, 2010

Should Have Been, Could Have Been

In my rare quiet time of the day, ignited by the cold air of 'ber' months bespeaking that 2010 is soon to be over and another year is about to start, I've been contemplating of the years that have past, of the life that I've had. Full of should've been and could've been looking back.  How time flies in a snap. I will be turning 30 years old in few months from now, and have I done significant so far? As Uncle Chuck put it, "success is measured not by fame and fortune but by the difference you make in the life of others, and the joy you get in your work that spells the difference". Did I ever make someone else life any good? Have I been of any help at all? Or devastatingly have I been an omen to the people I'm with? Sigh. Heavy topics to probe on! At this point in my life,  I've been wishing, if only I did something better,  then I should have done something else and could have made someone's life better. :-( Though there's no use of crying over spilled milk so to speak, I am  with great regret  in my heart to those times in my past, when I was not at all any good, and had made bad choices in life. Along the way, in one way or the other, I know I've hurt the people I was with. Some of them I lost contact already, but hopefully through this blog, it could reach them, that from the bottom of my heart I was sorry. I am sorry for those times that I was selfish and self centered, for opting to do the things that consequently hurt you, for letting go of things that I should have hold on to, and for saying things that I should have kept to myself. I hope time had healed to the many wounds I've caused. I could never be perfect through out my lifetime, but I wish to do much better most of the time from now on. That's a goal. 

I know it is never too late. Life is full of hope. God is ubiquitously giving us good opportunities to make our lives much better, serves its very purpose. Mistakes are just around the corner, but with God's help I'll try to be better. The coming 3rd decade of my life, hopefully would be a fruitful one, with His help. 

P. S. I dream to be able to help those abused and abandoned children. Hopefully, there will be an orphanage of that sort, that I could work with...